Cape Town - Springbok wing Aphiwe Dyantyi says his heart is at peace as he continues the fight to save his once promising career.
The 25-year-old faces a four-year ban from the sport after he tested positive for three banned substances - metandienone, methyltestosterone and LGD-4033 - around five months ago back in July.
Considered one of the brightest young prospects on South African rugby, Dyantyi will have a hearing at a yet to be confirmed time that will determine exactly how severe the punishment is.
On Friday, however, Dyantyi posted a heart-felt message to his Instagram page that was his first action on social media since August.
It read as follows:
"One of the happiest moments in life is when you find the courage to let go of what you cannot change," Dyantyi wrote.
"5 months later and not much has changed, except my battles and struggles empower and give me strength. My tears, my heartbreak sometimes holds me back (as if saying 'it’s ok to fail'). Life would be easier if I just listened to them, but I’m reminded each day that life wouldn’t be what it is if there weren’t spoils and spills every now & then.
"In recent months I've found myself smiling more often, even when I'm sad I'm happy, even when feel like crying I find myself smiling.
"I believe my heart is at peace even though some days I still wake up feeling sad & hopeless at least I wake up wanting to live. A lot has changed, a lot hasn't at the same time like the love and support I got and have continued to get.
"If it weren’t for that (love & support of friends & family, messages of encouragement) life would be worthless, so thanks to everything and everyone that has shown me support."