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Rob Houwing, Sport24 chief writer
Cape Town – Call it the revenge of the nerds, if you like, with Cricinfo now naming an all-time world Test “Stodgy XI” as a follow-up to their much-discussed all-time best Test XI named this week.
No South Africans featured in the latter side, picked by a broad and illustrious global panel, which generated some spirited discussion among Sport24 readers on Monday … but perhaps the laugh is now on historical heavyweights Australia and England, who did earn strong representation there.
The cricket-specialist website has followed up, you see, by asking renowned critic Peter Roebuck to select a mildly tongue-in-cheek “Stodgy XI” to attempt to strangle the verve out of the likes of Messrs Don Bradman, Sachin Tendulkar and Viv Richards.
And Aussies and Englishmen dominate the landscape in the slightly less revered combination chosen by Roebuck: there are four watch-the-paint-dry representatives each from these countries.
The Aussie quartet are Bill Woodfull, Ken Mackay, Charlie Turner and most recent Test combatant Glenn McGrath, the deadly accurate strike bowler whom Roebuck brands “the meanest of the moderns”.
England’s contingent, of course, is spearheaded by the incomparably self-centred and stoical Geoff Boycott, along with another “haughty Yorkshireman” Herbert Sutcliffe, Douglas Jardine, who captained England in their massively controversial Bodyline series in Australia, and Jack Russell.
Wicketkeeper Russell, of course, is well-known to South Africans for his marathon vigil (29 not out in all of 274 minutes) with century-maker Mike Atherton to save a Test at the Wanderers in 1995/96.
What’s more, there is not even a place for the Proteas’ Jacques Kallis, one of the all-time greats statistically as a Test all-rounder but sometimes pilloried by critics outside our borders for a perception that he is an overly dour batsman.
But Kallis has clearly paid the price, in Roebuck’s mind, for having the audacity to up his attacking ante at international level over the past couple of years.
Instead the lone South African snore-inducer is left-arm seamer Trevor Goddard, of whom Roebuck says: “The meanest bowler the game has known. Grudgingly gave away 1.65 runs an over and averaged 26.
“Thirty-nine percent of his overs were maidens. Let them try to attack him off his length.”
All-rounder Goddard played 41 Tests and is now 79.
Roebuck boasts of his “charges”: “A team of slowpokes who will test the patience of the fiercest opponents and the tolerance of the most obdurate viewers.
“We will insist on a seven-day Test – my fellows don’t really get into their stride until the fourth or fifth day.”
Team: Glenn Turner (NZ), Geoff Boycott (Eng), Herbert Sutcliffe (Eng), Bill Woodfull (Aus), Douglas Jardine (Eng), Ken Mackay (Aus), Jack Russell (Eng), Trevor Goddard (SA), Bapu Nadkarni (Ind), Charlie Turner (Aus), Glenn McGrath (Aus).
Cape Town – Call it the revenge of the nerds, if you like, with Cricinfo now naming an all-time world Test “Stodgy XI” as a follow-up to their much-discussed all-time best Test XI named this week.
No South Africans featured in the latter side, picked by a broad and illustrious global panel, which generated some spirited discussion among Sport24 readers on Monday … but perhaps the laugh is now on historical heavyweights Australia and England, who did earn strong representation there.
The cricket-specialist website has followed up, you see, by asking renowned critic Peter Roebuck to select a mildly tongue-in-cheek “Stodgy XI” to attempt to strangle the verve out of the likes of Messrs Don Bradman, Sachin Tendulkar and Viv Richards.
And Aussies and Englishmen dominate the landscape in the slightly less revered combination chosen by Roebuck: there are four watch-the-paint-dry representatives each from these countries.
The Aussie quartet are Bill Woodfull, Ken Mackay, Charlie Turner and most recent Test combatant Glenn McGrath, the deadly accurate strike bowler whom Roebuck brands “the meanest of the moderns”.
England’s contingent, of course, is spearheaded by the incomparably self-centred and stoical Geoff Boycott, along with another “haughty Yorkshireman” Herbert Sutcliffe, Douglas Jardine, who captained England in their massively controversial Bodyline series in Australia, and Jack Russell.
Wicketkeeper Russell, of course, is well-known to South Africans for his marathon vigil (29 not out in all of 274 minutes) with century-maker Mike Atherton to save a Test at the Wanderers in 1995/96.
What’s more, there is not even a place for the Proteas’ Jacques Kallis, one of the all-time greats statistically as a Test all-rounder but sometimes pilloried by critics outside our borders for a perception that he is an overly dour batsman.
But Kallis has clearly paid the price, in Roebuck’s mind, for having the audacity to up his attacking ante at international level over the past couple of years.
Instead the lone South African snore-inducer is left-arm seamer Trevor Goddard, of whom Roebuck says: “The meanest bowler the game has known. Grudgingly gave away 1.65 runs an over and averaged 26.
“Thirty-nine percent of his overs were maidens. Let them try to attack him off his length.”
All-rounder Goddard played 41 Tests and is now 79.
Roebuck boasts of his “charges”: “A team of slowpokes who will test the patience of the fiercest opponents and the tolerance of the most obdurate viewers.
“We will insist on a seven-day Test – my fellows don’t really get into their stride until the fourth or fifth day.”
Team: Glenn Turner (NZ), Geoff Boycott (Eng), Herbert Sutcliffe (Eng), Bill Woodfull (Aus), Douglas Jardine (Eng), Ken Mackay (Aus), Jack Russell (Eng), Trevor Goddard (SA), Bapu Nadkarni (Ind), Charlie Turner (Aus), Glenn McGrath (Aus).
