Rajasthan Royals
Last season: 1st on log, and eventual champions

The Royals are an interesting lot.

They won the inaugural tournament last year and deservedly so – they topped the “league” phase and then romped home in the two high-stakes knockout matches as well.

Their international flavour is headed by that irrepressible leggie Shane Warne; what a bonus to see the old fox boogie on our turf one last time. Look out for wrongly-directed, saucy SMSs on your cellphone.

But South Africans may be tempted to rally, too, behind a team also featuring our own Captain Courageous, Graeme “Anyone for tennis elbow?” Smith, as well as Morne “But will the radar work?” Morkel.

England’s Dimitri Mascarenhas hits a very long ball – sometimes – while Shaun Tait, if fully fit and fired-up (not always a simultaneous event), ought to stretch the speedgun’s legs to the 150km/h mark and even beyond, especially on the highveld.

Their Indian box-office appeal is led by Mohammad Kaif and Munaf Patel.

Chennai Super Kings
Last season: 3rd on log, and losing finalists

The Super Kings are an interesting lot.

Competitive in their first season, they went all the way to the final before that proved a bridge too far.

You might cruelly contemplate that this franchise is a haven for out-of-form Aussies, one still playing for his country (Mike Hussey) and the other (Matt “Cookery Class” Hayden) retired.

There are a couple of veteran Kiwis for good measure, in Stephen Fleming, who tends to bat quite well in one-dayers on our turf and generally look like an intelligent bloke, and big Jake Oram.

The eyes have it (or rather the Super Kings have the eyes) in the form of Muttiah “Marbles” Muralitharan. And Eye’ll have a pint, too … Freddie Flintoff plays a bit of the tourney before heading back for England commitments (life’s hard). Lock up the pedalos at Zoo Lake.

Watch your heads, compatriots … this is the home of Albie “Over the ropes” Morkel, as well as the beloved Mdingi Express, even if seasoned Makkie stops at a few stations, as it were, these days.

But if it’s 100 percent Indian bling you’re after, maybe the Kings are for you: Mahendra Singh Dhoni swishes his blade thrillingly for this outfit. I’d happily be bussed in with some schoolkids (expect a few loads of those?) for a couple of overs of his assault and battery.

Deccan Chargers
Last season: 8th on log

The Chargers are an interesting lot.

Er, interesting mostly because of their wooden-spoon struggle last year.

Like the underdog? Then maybe these lads are for you.

This is the meeting place of two of cricket’s naughtiest boys … Andrew “Slurry radio interview” Symonds and our own teetotal, changed (etc, etc, etc, etc, etc) Herschy Gibbs.

Will Mr Gibbs shepherd Mr Symonds to sobriety and safety? Or will Mr Symonds lead Mr Gibbs back down some dimly-lit roads? Answers in a few weeks. Oh, and lock up your daughters.

Maybe it will be up to veteran blaster Adam Gilchrist to ensure smooth Chargers passages, and idleness for nightclub bouncers.
Windies whirlwind Fidel Edwards will be fast and quite possibly loose.

The Indian blue-chippers in the Chargers’ ranks are VVS Laxman, maybe better known for batting five sessions in Tests, and RP Singh.

Delhi Daredevils
Last season: 4th on log, and losing semi-finalists

The Daredevils are an interesting lot.

They were pretty chuffed to reach the last-four stage in 2008, and have enough in the way of mercurial batting firepower to repeat such competitiveness.

Their main international smoking guns in that department are AB de Villiers, the apple of many Hennops River girls’ eyes, and Aussie phenomenon David Warner, who endeavours to score 100 percent of his runs on the leg-side. (Though he does that well.)

Paul Collingwood will nudge and nurdle on the rare occasions nudging and nurdling is tolerated, while Glenn “Once a Racing Pigeon, Now More Stool Pigeon” McGrath will try to turn the clock back to his parsimonious heyday.

But here’s perhaps the main reason the Daredevils could prosper anew: Virender Sehwag. No mucking about, as they say.

Kings XI Punjab
Last season: 2nd on log, and losing semi-finalists

The Kings XI are an interesting lot.

Calling Stuart Broad, calling Stuart Broad? Hello, anyone seen Stuart Broad?

You’re unlikely to find him back in T20 action on South African soil any time soon, not least because in the Kings XI ranks is one Yuvraj Singh: remember the World T20? Six, six, six, six … etc?

Singh brings his instrument of mass destruction back our way, and that fact alone is forgiveness, I reckon, for not a South African sausage in this franchise.

I’m also keen to get another glimpse of that screwball quickie, Sree Sreesanth.

Speaking of nutty quickies, albeit perhaps with fewer nuts, Brett Lee uses Kings XI as his forum to relaunch his Ashes quest after a lengthy injury layoff.

In slightly more serious vein, I rather hope there’s a warm neutral welcome for Sri Lankan leading lights Kumar Sangakkara and Mahela Jayawardene, still nursing the mental scars, maybe, of horrific events in Pakistan recently.

Kolkata Knight Riders
Last season: 6th on log

The Knight Riders are an interesting lot.

They have a slightly oddball coach in John Buchanan, who is already envisaging a cast of thousands for the captaincy, which has put snooty Sourav Ganguly’s nose out a tad.

Chris Gayle and Brendon McCullum have also been suggested by Buchanan as possible skippers during the five weeks … a team of many different tossers, then?

I plan to peek over the fence at a couple of their games, mainly to see if I can unravel the mystery of Ajantha “Mystery Spinner” Mendis, making his first appearance in South Africa.

Their Indian glamour boy is undoubtedly Ishant Sharma; facing this beanpole shock bowler can be a hairy experience in more ways than one.

No South Africans, no Buck Rogers …

Mumbai Indians
Last season: 5th on log

The Indians – strange name for an already Indian team, yes? – are an interesting lot.

McLaren switch on another FI campaign in Melbourne this weekend, but there’s a McLaren starting his engine for the Mumbai franchise, too … Ryan “Not sure if I’m still South African” McLaren.

He’s joined in multi-national flavour by Sri Lankan veteran Sanath Jayasuriya (busy year of T20 in these parts for this sometimes-Dolphin), his compatriot Lasith Malinga, still slingin’ after all these years, and fit-again West Indies all-rounder Dwayne Bravo.

Before I forget, this is also home base in the IPL for JP Duminy, one of the darling buds of the Proteas’ summer, so expect to see a few Cobras flags fluttering whenever the Indians come to Cape Town.

There’s a bloke named Tendulkar in the Mumbai mix, and I’ve heard he’s quite decent. Other stellar Indian names here include the Obnoxious Weed (Matt Hayden’s description of Harbhajan Singh, not the match programme’s) and long-serving left-arm catapult “Zak” Khan.

Royal Challengers Bangalore
Last season: 7th on log

The Challengers are an interesting lot.

With names like Dravid and Kumble in their ranks, they almost seem better equipped to play a Timeless Test.

But here’s also the team most heavily subscribed by South Africans: is that enough to determine your IPL allegiance, d’you think?

Jakes Boucher and Bouch Kallis stay joined at the hip for a second summer (brrr; not strictly true, either!) with the Challengers.

But wait … there’s more. Dale Steyn will do his chainsaw thing whenever he takes a wicket, Titans scrapper Roelof van der Merwe gets a wonderful chance to confirm his BMT and Dillon du Preez (from that swelling cricketing country they call Kolpak), also ensures that there’s a box of Ouma rusks in the Challengers’ dressing room.

Throw in Ray “Ice Bath” Jennings as head coaching fuehrer and you might be mistaken for thinking you’re watching Standard Bank Pro20, not IPL.

Nathan Bracken brings his alice band from Oz, but even that’s not all.

The troops are led by Kevin Pietersen (or does that turn you off?), at least until he vacates to rejoin England’s overlapping roster, and this team gets some formidable further ballast from Jesse Ryder.

The Kiwi is another infamous hell-raiser, who enjoys the odd jug, but he’s bang in form, even proving his Test credentials – not to mention unexpected stamina -- by batting 489 minutes for a Test double-ton against India at Napier only hours before this was written.

So it’s true: you don’t have to look light to score heavily. Let’s hear it for Jesse.

CONCLUSION:
There you have it … my profoundly scientific tip is that every IPL team ought to be, at the very least, interesting. It’ll all go by in a frantic blur anyway, so why don’t you simply enjoy the whole shebang and make a loud-mouthed, waving and gyrating dipstick of yourself whenever you darned well fancy?