Rob Houwing’s TV sport column

I am mightily curious to establish – and will certainly attempt to, a little further down the drag -- just how many SuperSport-watchers take up the generous opportunity to use the Sky commentary.

The local broadcaster pleasingly announced on Thursday that it would offer access to Sky’s microphone team – yes, David Lloyd, Ian Botham, Nasser Hussain, David Gower and company – for the remainder of the England tour, starting with the third ODI at Newlands on Friday.

In a nutshell, viewers’ choice will henceforth be SuperSport English (option 1 on the DStv remote), SuperSport Afrikaans (option 2) and Sky (option 3).

Presumably the step was driven by demand, and hats off to the organisation for doing it, if so.

Some might be inclined to see it as a slap in the face for SuperSport’s staple local voices … but isn’t variety the spice of life?

South African viewers, after all, are well used to the Sky personalities anyway for many televised neutral series and the English broadcast giant has undeniably assembled a formidable commentary arsenal.

And I imagine there will plenty of viewers who switch between the options during the summer, every now and then seeking either the South African or English perspective, according to match situation or flashpoint and the like.

In a mini-guide to the 2009 Ashes, produced by The Wisden Cricketer magazine (UK), an irreverent profile piece on the Sky regulars offered up these nuggets:

“Bumble” Lloyd’s commentary style: Warm, passionate and happy to play the clown without being one.

Things he’ll say: “Look at that lad dressed up as a pirate. I remember facing Long John Silver when he was playing for Todmorden … he was rapid on his day.”

“Beefy” Botham’s commentary style: Like being cornered at a barbecue by a neighbour who wants you to know exactly why voting UKIP is common bloody sense.

Things he’ll say: “That is absurd. I wish someone could explain to me what the hell is going on out there.”

Nasser Hussain’s commentary style: Flinty and insightful.

Things he’ll say: “I like KP/Ravi/Charles Bronson: he’s aggressive, he gets in people’s faces, he’s serving time for aggravated burglary. We need a bit more of that in England.”

David Gower’s commentary style: Saunters down the line that separates simply effortless from simply not putting in any effort.

Things he’ll say: “Well, 178 runs and 13 wickets in that session, as well as the pitch invasion and the meteor strike. We’ll discuss those events after our lunchtime feature on the stitching of the Dukes ball.”

The Sky lads? Perhaps without entirely forsaking our own team, enjoy ‘em!

Rob’s awesome foursome:

1. South Africa v England, third MTN cricket ODI
Cape Town, Friday 14:30, SS2 & SABC3
It’s probably not far off the truth to suggest that whoever wins the toss at Newlands – and inevitably bats first – immediately moves into a 60-40 sort of advantage. Day/night statistical history at the venue, after all, tells few lies. Graeme Smith’s “coin” record isn’t wonderful, but he was adamant on Thursday that first-strike advantage at the ground isn’t as clear-cut as it used to be. “The ball doesn’t do that much more under lights as it used to,” he assured. Hmm, here’s hoping the Proteas aren’t chasing 275 or 280, Biff. Don’t forget daytime hostilities (live on the same channels at 10:00) in the fourth game at Port Elizabeth on Sunday.

2. Ireland v South Africa, rugby Test match
Dublin, Saturday 16:30, M-Net & SS1
I’ve been amused by some Irish media branding the Boks bully boys, thugs or at least “overly physical” and so on. My main memory of South Africa v Ireland clashes in the post-isolation era is the stormy 1998 two-Test series on our soil when several Irish players – notably Trevor Brennan and even captain Paddy Johns – took great relish in leading with their fists, as it were, against Gary Teichmann’s Boks! Still, nothing wrong with a bit of needle-infusing hype, I suppose. The Boks have picked sensibly for this Test and I back them to take a tight one against the Six Nations champs – formidable though Ireland are in some positions.

3. France v New Zealand, rugby Test match
Marseilles, Saturday 21:45, CSN & SS1
Ah, good old France. Only they could be so flamboyant (many might opt for a rather different word) as to make wholesale changes – seven – to the team who beat the world champion Springboks 20-13 a fortnight back! There’s always an argument for horses for courses, but it still seems weird to be so extreme in a shake-up, doesn’t it? Partly linked to the “creative” French selection process, I’m backing the All Blacks, who will be wearing their white jerseys, to achieve what the Boks couldn’t …

4. Arsenal v Chelsea, English Premiership soccer
London, Sunday 18:00, SS3 & HD
No question about the form team going into this spicy London derby: the Blues are in murderous fettle. Since a little hiccup at Aston Villa (a 2-1 defeat) their winning sequence of Premiership results has read: 5-0 v Blackburn (h), 4-0 v Bolton (a), 1-0 v Manchester United (h) and 4-0 v Wolves (h). They rightly head the table and now head across the city to take on an Arsenal side smarting from defeat at Sunderland and desperate to return to champagne-footie ways. It would be a surprise if the calibre of play is turgid in this one, although I tip a 1-1 outcome.